Who's Line is It Anyway?
by Charon the Sabercat
Summary: Featuring Butt Ugly Martians, Parappa the Rapper, Star Fox Adventures, Super Mario, Kingdom Hearts, Pokemon, Nightmare Before Christmas, and more!
1. BUM, Star Fox, Mario, Parappa, KH

It's time for "Who's Line is it Anyway?", starring:  
  
Because Luigi's on vacation, it's Mario!  
  
Mario: (waves exaggeratedly)  
  
It's BKM for this BUM, B.Bop-A-Luna!  
  
B-Bop: (throws his hands in the air) WOOO!  
  
She's answering a tajkhojj jawduc, it's Krystal!  
  
Krystal: (smiles politely)  
  
You gotta believe, it's Parappa!  
  
Parappa: (tries to act macho)  
  
Charon: And I'm your host, Charon the Sabercat, and welcome to "Who's Line is it Anyway?"!  
  
(Applause.)  
  
Charon: (sitting behind a desk, wearing a smily face t-shirt and holding some important looking cards.) Ha ha! Wel-come! To "Who's Line is it Anyway?", the show where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points don't matter just like fanfics in the "Cartoon Crossovers" section of Fanfiction.net!  
  
(Laughing.)  
  
Charon: HA HA ha ha! But I kid! Okay, for people who don't watch the ABC family channel (the two of you out there), this is a game show where these four over here have to make up stuff off the top of their heads based on what I have on these cards. I give away points, which don't matter, they're just for fun. And at the end of the show, the winner gets to do a little somethin' special with me, and the-  
  
Audience: WooooOOOOOOOOOO! (applause)  
  
(Close up on Krystal: holding in a laugh.)  
  
(Close up on Parappa: (pretending to gag)  
  
Charon: Huh huh, yeah. And the losers get to do a little something special with Zidane.)  
  
Zidane (in the audience): YAR!  
  
(Close up on B-Bop: Cringing back into his chair.)  
  
Audience: Laughter.  
  
Charon: I love this show! Oh, and real quick, I wanna thank Jack Skellington for letting us hold this thing in the Town Hall. THANK YOU!  
  
Jack: (From the audience) You're welcome!  
  
Charon: Okay, let's do "Scenes from a Hat" first. I've got right here my favorite hat (Holds up a black "Bartman" baseball cap.), and it's full of slips of paper. On said slips of paper are requests from the audience, I pick out the best ones and read 'em to the stars here. Okay, all four of ya, get on up here.  
  
(All four of 'em get on up there.)  
  
Charon: Okay, first suggestion is... things you would not want to see or hear when riding in your Arwing/Rover Pod/Airplane/etc.  
  
Mario: (Pretending to fly a plane) Doodee doodee doo (imitates explosion)... uh oh.  
  
Audience: (giggles)  
  
Krystal: (acting like she's leaning back on her seat) Hmm, auto pilot not engaged. (suddenly jumps up) CRUD!  
  
Audience: (mild laughter)  
  
B-Bop: (acts like he's flying a plane, pretends to look out window) ... Gizmo?  
  
Audience: (loud laughter)  
  
(Close up on B-Bop and Mario, who are standing next to eachother.)  
  
Mario: Gizmo?  
  
B-Bop: From the "Gremlins" movie?  
  
Mario: Oh yeah!  
  
Charon: Rejected Popsicle flavors.  
  
Parappa: Now try our new, "Noodle Surprise"!  
  
Audience: (mild laughter. One person whistles)  
  
B-Bop: Artichoke Fla-Vor-Ice, anyone?  
  
Audience: (mild laughter, mingled with "Ew"s)  
  
Mario: One-a Mushroom-a supreme, coming up!  
  
Audience: (loud laughter)  
  
Charon: Things you do not want to hear on your first date? I didn't put that in there!  
  
Krystal and B-Bop walk into the stage.  
  
B-Bop: Uh... you are a girl, right?  
  
Audience: (loud laughter)  
  
Krystal: (pretends to punch B-Bop)  
  
Audience: (louder laughter)  
  
Mario and Krystal walk onstage.  
  
Mario: We just need-a to stop-a by the bank. Could-a ya hand-a me my-a pillow case?  
  
Audience: (mild laughter)  
  
Charon buzzes.  
  
Mario: Yeah, the one wid da holes in it.  
  
Charon holds down the buzzer.  
  
Audience: (laughs louder)  
  
Mario and Krystal, along with everyone else, sit down.  
  
Charon: Okay, okay! (breathless from laughter) Okay, I thought that was funny, but I'm excitable! Thousand points to Parappa for the Noodle Surprise and for being a cute little puppy!  
  
Parappa: All right! Puppies rock!  
  
Charon: MOVING ON, let's doooo.... Song titles only! This is for all of ya! Alrighty then, special request from Jack and Sally... mostly Sally...  
  
Audience: (giggles)  
  
Charon: Cha. Okay, you're in a costume store just before Halloween. Remember, song title only, go!  
  
Krystal and Mario walk onto stage.  
  
Krystal: Dr. Robert?  
  
Mario: Hey, Jude!  
  
(Audience laughs. Mario and Krystal shake hands.)  
  
Krystal: Em... um... Forget it!  
  
(Krystal walks away. Parappa takes her place.)  
  
Parappa: (points to something) What's this?  
  
Audience: (loud laughter)  
  
Mario: (thinks for a moment) Jack's lament.  
  
Audience: (louder laughter)  
  
Parappa: Well, I used my lines, I'm out.  
  
(Sora leaves, B-Bop replaces him.)  
  
B-Bop: (looks at Mario) Mr. Roboto?  
  
Mario: (looks mad) Hello, Goodbye. (waves, ushering B-Bop to leave)  
  
Audience: (laughter)  
  
B-Bop: (looking bored)  
  
Mario: Move your feet! (keeps acting like he wants B-Bop to leave)  
  
B-Bop: (closes his eyes and shakes his head) This guys' too good. (walks off)  
  
Parappa walks back onto stage.  
  
Mario: (holds out his arms) Miss Independent!  
  
Audience: (extreme laughter)  
  
Parappa:(blushing like crazy) I give up. (walks off)  
  
Charon: (buzzes)  
  
They sit back down.  
  
Charon: Oh, jeez loweez! Thousand points to Mario for not being buzzed offstage.  
  
(Close up on Mario: (sticking his tongue out at B-Bop and Krystal, who still haven't gotten points.)  
  
Charon: Okay, okay, um.... what's one that everyone likes... PROPS!  
  
Somebody in the audience: HOEDOWN!  
  
Charon: We're saving Hoedown for the end!  
  
Same person: Then do Song Styles!  
  
Charon: I HATE SONG STYLES!  
  
Audience: SONG STYLES! SONG STYLES! SONG STYLES!  
  
Charon: FINE, SONG STYLES! For.... B-Bop! And now for a lucky audiencec member!  
  
(Charon walks into the audience while people raise their hands, wanting to be picked. Charon picks...)  
  
Charon: Okay, man, what's your name?  
  
Person-whos-appearance-is-gonna-be-really-obvious-soon-enough: I'm Sora!  
  
Charon: Uh huh. And, what do you do for a living?  
  
Sora: I kill Heartless and save worlds with my Keyblade!  
  
Charon: Okay, it's Song Styles! Sora, you sit on that little stool on the stage, and B-Bop, with the help of 2-T-Fru-T on the piano, Falco on guitar, and William Riker on trombone-  
  
(2-T, Falco, and Riker waves to the Audience.)  
  
Charon: Will sing to Sora.... what kind of song style?  
  
Audience: Disco! Country! Bluegrass! Mariachi!  
  
Charon: MARIACHI! Alright!  
  
B-Bop: (shakes head and sighes, blushing)  
  
Krystal: (starting to laugh)  
  
Parappa: No no no no no no no no no....  
  
Mario: So-a many t'ings a-wrong-a with dat.  
  
Charon: Okay, Mariachi Sora-Kills-Heartless-And-Saves-Worlds sung by B-Bop. Okay, go.  
  
(Music starts. B-Bop sighes, and starts Mariachi-ing. People laughs.)  
  
B-Bop: Aiy-yiyiyyiyiyiyiyi!  
  
Audience: (extreme laughter)  
  
Sora: (sitting on the horrible stool) (blushing like crazy)  
  
B-Bop: (to the tune of a Mariachi thing) Um... Ai-yi-yiyiyi! You're-ra-ra name-a is Sora! You play with the keyblade galore-a, and the Heartless're afraid of your face!  
  
Sora: (laughs) That's true!  
  
B-Bop: Um... um... Ai-yi-yi yi! You've gotta friend-a named Riku! Poor little Riku went cuckoo, and was possessed by bad Ansem man! Now, you've gotta go from place-to-place, get in Heartless's face, lock the worlds with the thing (points to Keyblade), everybody now, sing! Gotta friend named Kairi, dog and duck for buddy, fly around in Gummi, something else with an "E".  
  
Audience: (extreme laughter)  
  
Sora: (starting to snicker; beet red)  
  
B-Bop: Ai-yi-yi yi! Flying Gummi ships makes you sick-y, only one sighting of Great King Mickey, Halloween Level was way too short! HEY!  
  
(Song ends. Audience laughs insanely. Jack and Sally seen clapping in the background. Sora runs back into his seat between Kairi and Riku, holding his head between his hands. Charon laughs.)  
  
Charon: AH HA! Hahahahaa! I agree with ya there, B-Bop! A million points to you!  
  
(B-Bop sticks his tongue out at Krystal.)  
  
Charon: Alright! That's the end! The winner is Krystal! And now it's time for HOEDOWN!  
  
Audience: Yeah!  
  
(A few minutes later)  
  
Krystal: (sitting in Charon's desk) Okay, we need the name of a thing that bugs you to no end.  
  
Audience: ROACHES! Rain! In-laws! Boyfriends and girlfriends!  
  
Krystal: Boyfriends and girlfriends! It's the Boyfriends and Girlfriends Hoedown!  
  
Charon: Oh no....  
  
Krystal: 2-T, start the music!  
  
(Hoedown music.)  
  
(Audience claps to the rythm.)  
  
Mario: I've-a gotta girlfriend, her name-a is Princess Peach. I love-a de Princess, all and all, but she's just a leech. She's-a always getting kidnapped, so I put-a my life at stake, and when-a I fin'lly save her life, all I get's a cake.  
  
Audience: (loud laughter)  
  
Charon: Don't make me do this.  
  
Krystal: Now, Charon.  
  
Charon: (sighs, then starts singing) I do not have a boyfriend, it does not make sense to me. You'll only wind up getting hurt; men are evil, you see. I'd rather take a puppy than a boyfriend any day, but the boy's 'round me are really mad, so I'll be nice today.  
  
Audience: (loud laughter)  
  
Parappa: Boys are evil, huh?  
  
Charon: Stay away from me!  
  
B-Bop: I do not have a girlfriend yet, but I do know a girl. When I see her, she puts me in a whirl! I think I'd like to take out, but there's a problem, see; I'd really rather date someone the same species as me!  
  
Audience: Ooooooooooh! (laughs loudly)  
  
B-Bop: Hi, Lilly!  
  
Parappa: (gulps down his fear) I know a girl, kind of; around her, I'm a mess. She's okay for a girl... I guess. She's one of my best-friends, I really shouldn't pout. But I if say "I love you", I'll get my brains punched out!  
  
All: Get my Brains punched OUT!  
  
Charon: Okay, we're done! Thanks for watchin' Who's Line is it Anyway? ! 


	2. TNBC, Pokemon, BUM, Star Fox, Mario

Charon: It's time for Who's Line is it Anyway? TWO!

I choose you, Krystal!

Krystal: (sticks out tongue and rolls eyes)

B-Bop-A-Luna, thundershock, now!

B-Bop: (flexes muscles)

I shall defeat you with my Jack Skellington!

Jack: (sneers evilly)

And the fangirls go crazy, it's Ash Ketchum!

Ash: (looks bored)

Charon: I'm your host, Charon the Sabercat, come on, let's have some fun!

(Audience applaudes as camera pans over set, the actors waving exaggeratedly.)

Charon: Hello and welcome to "Who's Line Is It Anyway?", the game where everything's made up and the points don't matter. That's right, the points don't matter, just like the spell-check button to a newbie writer.

Audience: (mixed assortment of laughs and mocking boos).

Charon: Gah, I'm terrible. Anyway, for you folks who've never seen the show before, what I'm gonna do is pull suggestions for odd situations out of nowhere, and these four... uh...

(Camera switches to actors, which are waiting expectantly for her to finish.)

Charon: ...Iinnnndividuals are going to act them out off the top of their heads. After each game, I give out points, which don't matter. And the end of the show, I pick a winner. The winner gets to do a little something special with me, and-

Audience: WoooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooo!

Charon: Aaand the looser has his eyes held open and is forced to watch.

Audience: (laughter)

Jack: (to Charon) You remember I'm engaged, right?

Charon: Right, right, whatever. Okay, the first game we have here is Party Quirks, and it's for all four of you! Okay, Jack is hosting a dinner party, and Krystal, B-Bop, and Ash are his guests.

Ash: (reads his card and rolls his eyes)

Charon: The thing is, each guest has a particular identity or quirk that Jack has to guess by the end of the round. Start on the doorbell, and go!

(Ash, Krystal, and B-Bop move to one side of the stage, leaving Jack in the middle.)

Jack: (holds hand to his ear in the "phone" shape) Oh, I was supposed to put them in AFTER I baked the cake, oopsie...

(Audience roars with laughter. Charon rings the doorbell.)

Jack: (opens the door to Krystal) Hey, Krystal, how are you?

Subtitle under Krystal: Michael Jackson.

Audience roars again.

Krystal: (strikes a pose) I'm bad! I'm bad! You know it! (spins and tosses her head back) Weehee!

Jack: Um, did you find the house alright?

Krystal: It was easy as A-B-C! (moonwalks away)

Audience is screaming with laughter.

Charon: (pounding the desk, choking with laughter)

Jack: You do th- (doorbell) Um, I need to get the- (opens door) B-Bop! Hello!

Subtitle under B-Bop: Old Timey British Comedy

Light chuckle from audience.

B-Bop: (in a thick British accent) Hey, Jack, how are you- oo, gotta go! (starts humming fast-paced music and shuffles around stage. Audience loves it and laughs a lot.)

Jack: O-kay. Hate to see you eat and run. (doorbell) Oo, there's Ash-

Krystal: (bumps Jack's hip) Da-chamon-nuh!

Jack: (puts hands on hips) Don't you have a court appointment?

Audience screams.

Jack: (opens door) He- I didn't invite you.

Audience goes nuts.

Subtitle under Ash: AstroWorld Dancing Guy

Ash: (immediately starts humming "Venga Bus" and dancing)

Jack: Oh good, the entertainment is here.

(Krystal is doing fancy dance moves behind Jack. She goes to do a complicated move as B-Bop shuffles behind her, and they smash into eachother. Audience guffaws and applaudes the madness.)

Jack: What th- geez louise!

Charon: (stands up behind desk) Are you guys okay! (Krystal gets up, raises hand) If you say "I'm bad", I will kill you!

Krystal: (snickers) Why you gotta be like that, that's ignorant.

Audience dies laughing.

Charon: (button-mashes buzzer) That's it, that's enough! Jack! Can you guess who they are?

Jack: This blue one (points to Krystal) is Michael Jackson. That blue one (points to B-Bop) is one of those old time movies.

Charon: Correct! Old timey British comedy, Jack.

Jack: Ah.

B-Bop: (is now shuffling through the audience, receiving more laughs)

Jack: And that one.. (points to Ash, who is still dancing)... is a maniac, that's for sure.

Laughter.

Charon: No, no, think advertising.

Jack: Um...

Charon: Nothing?

Jack: No.

Charon: He's that guy in the AstroWorld commercials.

Jack: Oh.

(Actors sit down. Audience applauds.)

Charon: Okay, let's see... a thousand points for everybody, except Krystal, who gets twenty-three and a half.

Krystal: (raspberries)

Charon: Okay, time for the next game, the next game is called Questions Only, and in this game, the players have to act out a scene while only asking questions. This is for all three of you. Krystal and B-Bop start out, and Jack and Ash come in later. The scene is: Krystal has just entered B-Bop's pet store, and is looking for a suitable pet. And, begin!

Krystal: Are you the owner of this store?

B-Bop: Who else would I be?

Krystal: Do I need to find out?

B-Bop: (leers) Would you like to?

Audience: (laughter)

Krystal: (blushes and walks offstage)

Ash: (enters stage) You do realize that the dogs have escaped?

B-Bop: Oh no! What sho-

Charon: (buzzes) Ah ah, questions only, B-Bop.

B-Bop: Dang it! (walks off)

Jack: (walks onstage) You do realize that the dogs have escaped?

Ash: Where should I hide?

Jack: Where should _I_ hide!

Audience: (laughs)

Ash: (trying hard not to laugh) You are a skeleton, right?

Jack: (confused) Isn't this a little off topic?

Audience roars with laughter.

Ash: I'm out!

Krystal: (enters stage) You do realize the dogs have escaped?

Jack: Did you just get a weird sense of deja vu?

(Audience eats it up. Krystal sighs and walks away. Charon hits the buzzer.)

Charon: Okay, that's enough. Thousand points to Jack for pulling a "Mario" from chapter one.

Audience: (applauds)

Charon: Okey-dokey, I think we have time for one more game before the Hoedown, whadda you guys wanna do?

Audience: PROPS!

Charon: I CAN'T DO PROPS! YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT WOULD BE?

Audience: Song styles! Props! Skip to Hoedown! Three headed Broadway star!

Charon: Three headed Broadway star! Three headed Broadway star is a game where three of our actors get up here and sing a Broadway tune as a three-headed monster, one word at a time, to the tune played by 2-T-Fru-T on the piano.

Audience: (applauds hello)

Charon: Okay, for our three actors, I want B-Bop, Ash, and... let's make this interesting...

(Charon walks into the audience, where all sorts of random pop culture references are raising their hands to volunteer.)

Charon: Okay, I choose... OMG, Mario!

Mario: Hello!

Charon: Everybody, welcome back Mario from chapter one! Let's give him a hand as our third Broadway head!

(B-Bop, Ash, and Mario all grabbed eachothers shoulders and snuggle close while the audience cheers.)

Charon: Okay, we need a theme for the musical.

Audience: Doctors! Going to the movies! South Park! Star Wars!

Charon: STAR WARS! It's the Star Wars Three Headed Broadway Star! Take it away, 2-T!

(Piano Begins.)

Ash: When-

B-Bop: Darth-

Mario: Vader-

Ash: Attacked-

B-Bop: My-

Mario: Pet-

Ash: Poodle-

B-Bop: I-

Mario: Couldn't-

Ash: Help-

B-Bop: But-

Mario: Be-

Ash: Sad.

B-Bop: I-

Mario: Swore-

Ash: That-

B-Bop: Someday-

Mario: I-

Ash: Would-

B-Bop: Get-

Mario: My-

Ash: Revenge-

B-Bop: On-

Mario: Darth-

Ash: Vader.

B-Bop: But-

Mario: Once-

Ash: I-

B-Bop: Saw-

Mario: Darth-

Ash: Vader-

B-Bop: I-

Mario: Ran-

Ash: Away.

B-Bop: I-

Mario: Ran-

Ash: Very-

B-Bop: Very-

Mario: Very-

Ash: Very-

B-Bop: Very-

Mario: Very-

Ash: Very-

B-Bop: Far-

Mario: (big finish) Away!

Audience loves it. Actors take their seats.

Charon: (biting lip to keep from laughing) Okay... (choke) Okay... Million points to Mario.

Mario: Thank-a you!

Charon: Okay, and 20,000 points to Ash Ketchum for being in Pokemon 4ever.

Ash: YES!

Charon: Ash is the winner, so now it is time for the Hoedown! Give us something to sing about!

Audience: Boyfriend-girlfriend! Holidays! Star Wars!

Charon: Okay, it's the Star Wars... Hoedown! 2-T!

Hoedown begins.

Krystal: I've got my cape, I've got my helmet, and my favorite "T". I've got my plastic lightsaber, I feel so Star Wars-y. I would've seen the movie if I had gotten a good chance. I didn't go 'cause I couldn't find my Star Wars underpants!

Audience: (laughs)

Jack: I went to the Star Wars at the local theatre show. It was the first time I had seen it, wouldn't you-ou know. I went in kinda angry, and I left there angry too, 'cause the staff screwed up my popcorn and I watch "Episode Two".

Charon: I love the aliens, there are no ups or downs. When I look at Chewbacca, I never wanna frown. One day my love aliens came to an end. I said, "Look at that alien!" It was Hayden Christensen.

Audience: (goes crazy with laughter)

Ash: Oo, burn!

Charon: (licks finger, then touches thigh) Ssssss! Hot!

B-Bop: There's a robot, there's a Jedi, there's a Wookie, too. Kaminoan, Genosian, and some guy who's blue. Jabba the Hutt, some bounty hunter, downing some root beer. It's not the move, it's the line the week before premiere!

All actors: Week before pre-MIIIIIEEEEEEEEERRREEEE!

Charon: And that's all, thank you everybody, goodnight!


End file.
